Fast forward to today. My mom called this morning, just to say hi. I’m about to enter my senior year of college. I’m studying psychology, so that I can become a therapist. I am whole, I am successful, I am happy. My life is only just beginning, I have so much to look forward to.

My life is the polar opposite of what it once was. What brought this change about? How did I go from pushing away my mother to her being my best friend? From hating therapy to becoming qualified to give it? Well, the best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a birth mother.

Now don’t get me wrong, my adoption journey has been hard. But every tear I have shed has been worth it. Now, I am birth mom strong. Facing an unplanned pregnancy meant it was not about me anymore. I had to make changes to my lifestyle to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I had to cut people out of my life to make sure that both of us would be safe. I had to face facts. I didn’t have it together. So I had to find someone who did. 

Being forced to make healthier choices during my pregnancy has been such a blessing. It set me on a better path in life, and I will always be grateful for that. Having someone to think about other than myself makes it so much easier for me to make better choices.

I want to make my birth daughter proud. I want to be an example for her. I want to teach her that no matter what happens, she can do hard things. So I pushed through my grief and pain and went to school. I learned that I could use the coping skills that I had learned to help girls that are currently going through unplanned pregnancies. Becoming a birth mother showed me my passion in life, and set me on a career path that I know will be fulfilling.

I did everything I could to ensure that my birth daughter has a good life, and she does. She is happy and safe. She is beautiful. She is smart. I made that little girl, and I will always be incredibly proud of that.

Even though it was hard, even though it broke my heart, even though I wasn’t sure how I could make it through, I’m so glad that I’m a birth mother. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And who I am today is pretty great.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

The post How Being A Birth Mother Made Me A Better Person appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

I gave her all that my little teenage self could give her. I cut people out of my life to keep her safe. I did everything I could to ensure a healthy pregnancy, including spending a great deal of my meager income to pay for medical care. I sacrificed my body, that will never be the same. I found her a home that could give her the stability I couldn’t. It crushed me. But I would make these sacrifices over and over again if I had to, because I love her.

I love her with a ferocity that no one but a mama bear can understand. I made the decision to place in order to protect her. Because I have an open adoption, I will always be a part of her life, and you can bet that I will always watch over her. I will do everything I can to to help her through every question she has about her story, every boy who breaks her heart, every failure, every pain that she may feel. I sacrificed my own wants to give her a better shot at happiness. I would die for her. 

Everything I do is for her. I give my all every day to be a good role model. That meant I had to change my whole life around. It was tough, but I did it anyway. I want to show her that no matter what, she can do hard things. Since giving birth to her as a teen, I have fought through the grief and postpartum depression and gone on to college. I am almost finished with my undergraduate and will complete my master’s degree shortly thereafter. I have had to be strong and fight through hard times. She is my inspiration. All I want is to make her proud.

No matter what happens, I will love her. Even when I marry and have children that I parent, I will love her. Even if I move far away, I’ll find a way to see her because I love her. Even if she desires less contact as she grows older, I will love her from a distance. Even though countless people believe that I abandoned her, I know that I placed because I love her.

I loved every moment of my pregnancy, it was such a privilege to carry her beautiful soul. She brought to my life a new level of love that I had never known before, and now I can share that love with those around me. From the time when she was just two pink lines on a stick, to the precocious little girl she is now, I have loved her. I always will. No matter what.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

The post I Love My Child. No Matter What. appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

1. Bittersweet Feelings

The hurt from placing little R will never go away completely. Nothing can change the fact that placing was a huge loss for me. It broke my heart into a million pieces, and I miss her every day. But I know I did the right thing for her. I am lucky to have a wonderful open adoption, so I get to see her thriving and happy. The love I feel for her and the happiness I feel every time I get to hug her and play with her far outweighs the hurt.

2. Perspective

My adoption journey totally changed my perspective on life. Placing meant a total paradigm shift. It wasn’t about me anymore. Everything I did became about doing the right thing for my unborn baby, not myself. Ever since then, I have been able to be much less self-centered than I once was. I spend much more time thinking about others, and less time thinking about myself. I’ve never been happier. I believe that I have become a much more loving, giving person because of the choice I made to place little R for adoption. 

3. Empathy

Because my story is so complicated, and because I have been through so much pain, I can connect with others in a way I never could before. I can more easily relate to people feeling all types of grief, and I know how to help them better. I can form very deep relationships with others because I can truly empathize and love them.

4. Fear

I can form great relationships, but sometimes it takes me a while to get there. I love little R with all my heart, and I lost her. It was my choice, but it was still a loss. Sometimes I get scared to let people in. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and I don’t ever want to hurt like I did the day I said goodbye to my baby. Loving and trusting takes more time than it used to.

5. Strength

If I can get through the way people treat me because I got pregnant as a teen, the physical pain of labor and delivery, and the emotional anguish that comes with saying goodbye to your baby, I can do anything. I did everything I could for her, and I’m proud of that. It took a lot for me to find the strength to give her what she needed. Now I am able to use that strength to make my life, and the lives of others, better.

Placing my child for adoption was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it was also the best thing I’ve ever done. Despite all of the hardship, I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world. My life is so different than it was before. I am so much stronger and more mature than I once was. Placing has changed my life for the better.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

The post Things That Are Different After Placing Your Child for Adoption appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

1. Meeting My Daughter

When I delivered little R, she wasn’t my birth daughter yet. Until I signed the adoption papers, she was just my daughter. When they placed her on my chest right after delivery, I learned what a mother’s love feels like. I didn’t know I could love anyone so deeply and unconditionally. That red, wrinkly, screaming baby girl had my heart, and she always will.

2. Relinquishing My Rights

Two days after I delivered, I signed papers that terminated my parental rights. The wording was cruel, legal, and without emotion. How could I sign a piece of paper saying that I no longer had any interest in the custody of my child? I placed because I had all the interest in the world. My heart was torn out with the stroke of a pen. 

3. Placement

When I placed little R into the arms of her new mother, I was experienced incomprehensible emotions. On one hand, I was overjoyed for this beautiful family that I helped to create. Her new parents were so happy, they had wished for so long to be parents. On the other hand, I hurt for me. Their gain was my loss, and feeling all those emotions at once was completely overwhelming. 

4. Christmas

Things were hard for a long time after I delivered and placed my birth daughter. Some days I still don’t know how I manage the grief. But there are bright, shining moments in my adoption journey that make everything worth it. Last Christmas I was able to visit little R and her family. She is old enough now to remember me, and we have formed a beautiful friendship. She ran to me, asking to be held. We played together all evening with the paper dolls I made her. We shared cheesecake and snuggled and laughed. I saw how much she was loved by her parents and older brother. I know she is where she was meant to be, and I am so blessed to be a part of their family.

Adoption has shattered me in the most exquisite way. The deep pain coupled with immense joy is quite often more than I can process. But it’s worth it. I wouldn’t change the joy–or the grief. It has made me who I am today, and I will forever be grateful for this experience.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

The post 4 Times Being a Birth Mother Was Too Overwhelming appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

Your pregnancy is not shameful.

People will act like your pregnancy should be a secret. They will shame you, talk badly behind your back, and to your face. Sure, maybe you didn’t make the most responsible choices leading up to your pregnancy. But the baby, in and of themselves, is nothing to be ashamed of. Children are something to be celebrated, and anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t a true friend.

Placing will not make you a bad mom.

When I first became pregnant, I was dead set on parenting. I didn’t want anyone to tell me I couldn’t do it. I was going to be the best mom ever, I didn’t care how young I was. Eventually, I had to consider my circumstances. I didn’t have an education or a steady income, I didn’t have a stable relationship with the birth father, and I hadn’t finished growing up. Those things did NOT make me a bad mom. In my situation, being a good mom meant finding her someone who could give her all the things I couldn’t. It was my circumstances, not who I was as a person, that made placing the right choice for me. 

This is YOUR choice.

The decision to place or parent your child is yours alone. Not your parents, not your friends, not any potential adoptive parents. You are the only one who can truly know what is best for you and your baby. If you place (or parent) just because you feel pressured, you will regret it. Do what you feel good about, regardless of what anyone else says.

It won’t be easy.

Placing my baby for adoption was the hardest thing I have ever done. I love her with all my heart, and I miss her every day. I couldn’t just place her and forget about her. I struggled with grief for a very long time, and I think I always will to some extent. With unplanned pregnancy, any choice you make will be hard. There’s no easy way out of this one.

It will be okay.

Did placing hurt? Yes. But did it break me? No. Placing my baby for adoption made me strong. I am blessed to have lots of contact with her and her family, and that makes me happy. I am now in my third year of college, and I’m doing well. I’m healthy, I’m happy, and I’m successful. It turned out okay for me, and it will for you too.

If you think adoption might be the best thing for your baby, do it. You are a good parent for doing what you believe to be right for your child, no matter what anyone else says. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Trust me, because I did it–and you can too.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

The post What I Want to Tell Teens Contemplating Adoption appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.