Nineteen is not too young to be a mother. If you are just looking at years, it’s not. But if you were looking around me–at my life–it was. My life at the time of my unplanned pregnancy was why being a birth mother was right for me.
Standing in the Air Force doctor’s office discovering I was pregnant in the middle of basic training was quite a shock. My first reaction was, well, curiosity. How did this happen? What happens now with the Air Force? What is my ex-husband going to say? What is my mother going to say? It never occurred to me to think about how I felt about being pregnant.
Of course, the Air Force discharged me. I went from knowing what I was going to do with my life to having no direction at all.
My ex-husband decided the baby wasn’t his. After all, we had been married less than a year and divorced more than two months. I hadn’t ever heard of DNA tests so it didn’t occur to me that I could prove the baby was his and he would have to take some responsibility.
My mother–oh, my mother. I had been adopted when I was seven and never bonded well with my mother for many reasons. I had no intention of letting her take control of a little life and make a baby feel the way I did.
Where did that leave me? No way to support myself or a baby. No support from baby daddy or family. No insurance for health care for baby.
Friends suggested abortion. Although not very religious at the time, I immediately felt there was life within me and discarded the suggestion immediately.
I never felt anything about being pregnant except maybe panic. I only knew I had to come up with a solution to a situation and move toward the solution.
Somewhere I found an 800 number to talk about adoption. It turned out to be the 800 number for the Edna Gladney Home in Fort Worth. I spoke with a birth mother who talked about how families were chosen. I could even give guidelines on what kind of family I wanted the baby to have. I would have good health care during my pregnancy, and I would have a place to live. This seemed to meet all my most basic needs at the time.
Being a Birth Mother….
Looking back, I think there was some divine guidance in finding the solution I did. I did not abandon my baby. I provided for him in the best way I could possibly do at the time. I also had time and support to find and work through the emotions that come with such a big decision.
When the day came to relinquish my rights–to sign the papers that would take this little boy I had just held and give him to some other woman–I was sad. I was also calm and sure that I was doing exactly what was right for him.
If you’d like to read more stories about being a birth mother, click here for a free eBook written by birth mothers.
Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.
