Fast forward to today. My mom called this morning, just to say hi. I’m about to enter my senior year of college. I’m studying psychology, so that I can become a therapist. I am whole, I am successful, I am happy. My life is only just beginning, I have so much to look forward to.

My life is the polar opposite of what it once was. What brought this change about? How did I go from pushing away my mother to her being my best friend? From hating therapy to becoming qualified to give it? Well, the best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a birth mother.

Now don’t get me wrong, my adoption journey has been hard. But every tear I have shed has been worth it. Now, I am birth mom strong. Facing an unplanned pregnancy meant it was not about me anymore. I had to make changes to my lifestyle to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I had to cut people out of my life to make sure that both of us would be safe. I had to face facts. I didn’t have it together. So I had to find someone who did. 

Being forced to make healthier choices during my pregnancy has been such a blessing. It set me on a better path in life, and I will always be grateful for that. Having someone to think about other than myself makes it so much easier for me to make better choices.

I want to make my birth daughter proud. I want to be an example for her. I want to teach her that no matter what happens, she can do hard things. So I pushed through my grief and pain and went to school. I learned that I could use the coping skills that I had learned to help girls that are currently going through unplanned pregnancies. Becoming a birth mother showed me my passion in life, and set me on a career path that I know will be fulfilling.

I did everything I could to ensure that my birth daughter has a good life, and she does. She is happy and safe. She is beautiful. She is smart. I made that little girl, and I will always be incredibly proud of that.

Even though it was hard, even though it broke my heart, even though I wasn’t sure how I could make it through, I’m so glad that I’m a birth mother. If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And who I am today is pretty great.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

The post How Being A Birth Mother Made Me A Better Person appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

I gave her all that my little teenage self could give her. I cut people out of my life to keep her safe. I did everything I could to ensure a healthy pregnancy, including spending a great deal of my meager income to pay for medical care. I sacrificed my body, that will never be the same. I found her a home that could give her the stability I couldn’t. It crushed me. But I would make these sacrifices over and over again if I had to, because I love her.

I love her with a ferocity that no one but a mama bear can understand. I made the decision to place in order to protect her. Because I have an open adoption, I will always be a part of her life, and you can bet that I will always watch over her. I will do everything I can to to help her through every question she has about her story, every boy who breaks her heart, every failure, every pain that she may feel. I sacrificed my own wants to give her a better shot at happiness. I would die for her. 

Everything I do is for her. I give my all every day to be a good role model. That meant I had to change my whole life around. It was tough, but I did it anyway. I want to show her that no matter what, she can do hard things. Since giving birth to her as a teen, I have fought through the grief and postpartum depression and gone on to college. I am almost finished with my undergraduate and will complete my master’s degree shortly thereafter. I have had to be strong and fight through hard times. She is my inspiration. All I want is to make her proud.

No matter what happens, I will love her. Even when I marry and have children that I parent, I will love her. Even if I move far away, I’ll find a way to see her because I love her. Even if she desires less contact as she grows older, I will love her from a distance. Even though countless people believe that I abandoned her, I know that I placed because I love her.

I loved every moment of my pregnancy, it was such a privilege to carry her beautiful soul. She brought to my life a new level of love that I had never known before, and now I can share that love with those around me. From the time when she was just two pink lines on a stick, to the precocious little girl she is now, I have loved her. I always will. No matter what.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

The post I Love My Child. No Matter What. appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.

Find a match in someone you would want to be friends with.

When choosing adoptive parents for my son, it was important to me to find people that I could carry on a conversation with, who I shared similar interests with, and who wouldn’t consider me a “burden” to share an open adoption with. I was lucky to find all that and more. There was no doubt to me that we were a match when we agreed upon important things like vaccines, but as I got to know them more as people, it was apparent to me that placing my son with them would create a special relationship for me as well. Don’t be afraid to find a hopeful adoptive couple you click with to set the stage for a relationship.

Suggest a plan that allows for the ebb and flow of life.

It is no secret that things and people change as time goes on, but especially in adoption, it is important to be open to going with the flow. For instance, when my son was born we lived in the same county as his adoptive family. When he was about six months old, they had an opportunity to move to a better region four hours away. In those first six months we were able to get together with little to no notice as it was just driving across town, so it took some adjusting on both of our parts to arrange for visits after their move. Thankfully, we make it work with a little planning and a lot of discussion.

Be respectful and honest, even when it is tough.

One thing I’ve always found myself proud of within our open adoption is the level of respect and honesty we show toward each other. Adoption is an emotional experience for all involved. It can be difficult to be vulnerable, especially toward the person who has either placed their child with you or who you placed your child with. Something to remember though is that we are all human. We make errors in judgment and learn from things as time goes on. But at the base of the relationship should be respect and truth; because without those, a relationship doesn’t have a stable foundation.

Remember who the relationship is for: the child.

Above all else, the child is the reason for the relationship, and it’s best for all involved to work toward a healthy relationship. Sometimes may be trying, and no one is perfect. But if everyone does their best to love each other with an open accepting heart, the child will be raised to do the same.

While I may still be considered “new” to adoption by some (my child is less than 3 years old), having a great open adoption has done wonders for my life and my healing post-placement. It has made me vocal in the adoption community because I feel empowered rather than diminished by grief. It may not always be easy, and I may still have a lot to learn, but having an open adoption with my child’s adoptive parents has been worthwhile and I am excited to see where the future leads us.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit PregnancyHotline.org or call 1-800-GLADNEY. 

The post How To Have A Great Open Adoption With Your Child’s Adoptive Parents appeared first on Birthmother.com | Birth Mom Pre - Post, Rights, Quotes, Search.